You’re Welcome, Perverts.

The search engine terms that bring people to my blog are a constant source of amusement. I know full well that some of my post titles and turns of phrase will ultimately lead the masturbatory inclined only to disappoint. I mean GIGANTIC Penis Phone?, Lingerie Pillow Fights, Puppy Love is Still Bestiality…c’mon. I imagine them, one hand clenched around around the mouse, one lubed up fist clenched around….the air as it shakes in defeat at seeing cats and flowers instead of boobies. Gotcha!

Apparently the summer planting season has the farmers all in a horndog tizzy. (Must be the loose overalls) In the past 30 days the search term “farmer porn” brought 4 lucky bucolic boners to my site where they were greeted with pictures of frosted asparagus. One person was also looking for a “drunken slut” but I’m not sure how to help with that. At least they’re leaving the puppies alone for a while.

Non boat owners, possible lesbians, it’s all right here!

To further assist the agricultural community, I have included some of my sexiest photos of the season so far. I guess…maybe…imagine how Georgia O’Keefe would have painted them. (vaginas)

You’re Welcome!