When you promise your friend turkey sex…

You wanna see turkeys doin’ it? (Spring break, yow!)


Entering the metro park, two turkeys slow walked in the crosswalk in front of my car. Turkeys, they’re all about safety. They joined a group of six who were kicking through leaves in the woods to the left of the road. While I gawked from the driver’s seat, Adventure Buddy came slow walking up the road from the parking lot, keeping a wary eye on the rafter. (That’s a group of turkeys. Learning.) She had already taken video of her car being surrounded by turkeys. Terrifying. They’re basically miniature dinosaurs.


The park’s post about turkey mating season suggested that over 100 turkeys lived there and could best be seen in the open meadows and along the edge of the woods. So rather than backtrack from the parking lot to the group along the road, we diligently followed the map and slogged through puddles, and mud in the rain along the edges of two meadows. Adventure Buddy ended up ankle deep in her tennis shoes, and even my hiking boots weren’t totally cutting it. No turkeys.

Having completed the muddy, swamp portion of our hike, we went back along the paved road to check up on the original turkeys. We were rewarded with a small group.

Adventure Buddy: “They’re aggressive, right?”

Me walking towards gang of turkeys: “Oh, yea, they’ll kick the shit out of you.” ( I don’t know. They might.)

They totally moved on.


Driving out of the park, we came across this handsome devil and his ladies in the recommended meadow environment.


He is sooooo getting laid, cloaca to cloaca sexiness.


Turkeys really dig slow jazz to get in the mood.


10 thoughts on “When you promise your friend turkey sex…

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