WereCat!

Ah, fond conference night memories of this time last year. Much healthier this year, but I think it may be my Werecat resistance to puny human germs.

possumscatsthingsgnawingatme

WereCat!

There cat!

There is cat venom in my veins. I anticipate a full transformation by the next super moon. Already the urge to sleep all day and chase ephemeral red dots is strong.

I was bitten by a vampire cat. I know I’m mixing my supernatural beings, but the cat was already truly a cat not a transformed human into a cat, plus…fangs. Four perfect fangs that sunk deeply into my arm and latched on.

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My very frail neighbor fell and shattered her hip. She made sure she fed her cat before dragging herself to the phone to call for help. Somehow I could see myself doing that. After hip surgery, she was in a rehab facility for 4 1/2 weeks. She was very worried about Baby her beloved cat and asked me to care for her. So every other day for 4 1/2 weeks, I stepped across the…

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1 reason I like my cats better than my humans

For anyone else who is as idiotic as the secretary at my appointment this morning. 

Random people keep asking, “What are you doing for the 4th?” (Because my life is their business and it’s unAmerican if I don’t say grillin’ drinkin’ and blowing 💩 up)

I say, “I’ll be telling my cat she isn’t going to die as she cowers behind the toilet.”

The secretary:”Oh, yea, mah dogs FREAK out I aughta put them in the basement cause they try to dig out of their pen, but the cats…Huh. Maybe I aughta bring them in. I bet they’re shittin’ themselves.”

Ya think?

Wascally Wabbit

“Kill da wabbit! Kill da wabbit!

We won’t be killing any wabbits, just sniffing really hard at them through the open window. This is day two of a wabbit appearing in the yard. This one seems slightly smaller than yesterday’s, but I can’t be sure. We won’t wish the wabbits any harm unless they decide that my garden is just an elaborate salad bar.

A feathered acquaintance I encountered this week did not have the same wabbit killing westrictions.

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I went to school because I still needed to clean my classroom, file some things etc… I headed for the shadiest parking spot and saw this guy or gal(?) enjoying wabbit fricassee for lunch in the parking lot. It ignored my parked car and kept on chewing as I approached. This is another instance of me getting closer than I probably should to a large bird. However the most attention I got was some gleaming yellow side-eye that made me think of the Jaws speech about cold dead doll’s eyes on sharks. By the time I left the building about five hours later, the wabbit was just some fluff, bloody chunks, and a few worm-like intestines.

I am so bad at identifying hawks. This one was massive in size! The best I could come up with was Red-Tailed, but only because its shins were completely white feathers.

I heart Meyer Wolfsheim (I Should Have Bought that Noodle Rat)

It’s that Gatsby time of year again and this year I was able to fully incorporate my mom’s tooth art into the chapter 4 discussion of Meyer Wolfsheim’s shadiness. That guy’s fashion sense beats Gatsby’s pink suits and Daisy’s fake white innocence any day!
The children however were not amused as I used Airplay to project the art piece and asked them what they saw.
“Are those real teeth?!”
“Why would your mother save those?!” (They presume the tooth fairy leaves cash and throws away the teeth.)
“GROSS!” (Not nearly as gross as the baby books with a spot for the umbilical cord. I have a friend that still has her son’s cord in a bag. Can’t throw it away.)
“Did you disinfect them?” (What?)
They can not appreciate great art.

possumscatsthingsgnawingatme

We were wandering through a flea market and I was telling my mom about a classroom conversation involving “tooth art.” As a class we were discussing Meyer Wolfsheim in The Great Gatsby. There are many indicators that Meyer is not on the up and up, but my favorite is his cufflinks made out of human molars. “What does this suggest about Wolfsheim, children?” asks their all-wise and insightful teacher pulling teeth to get ideas rather than cufflinks.

This sparked a story about some t.v. show that one of them saw sometime about someone who had a whole closet full of teeth that they made “tooth art” out of or something. (I love the specifics.) HOW WEIRD!

This made me pause in class to take a mental inventory of all the things in my house that would qualify as “WEIRD” on the level of a closet full of…

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The AMAZING Cat Show!

A little something that I gave Katzenworld first dibs on. 😉

Katzenworld

We were greeted by “Monty.”

He was a huge canvas full of layers and texture with big expressive eyes. I think the model for “Monty” had cat-titude.

Welcome to the second year of The AMAZING Cat Show! If I couldn’t spend my Friday night on the couch covered in pj’s and cats, than at least I could be with friends gazing on hundreds of pieces of cat themed art.

I did a squealing “caaaaaaaaaaaaaaatttttttttttssssssssssssss!!!!!!!!” happy dance in the entrance much to the bafflement of one of our party who could not understand why on earth enough people had shown up to pack us in shoulder to shoulder to look at cats. Looking at a heavily tattooed woman wearing cat ears, he asked me if it was the artsy people or the cat people that brought out all the weirdos. I explained that if we created a Venn diagram, there…

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