Valentines:Shit got weird

MomBert sent this tiny little owl she created for Valentines Day. I’ll add it to my forest of creatures.

I had nothing prepared because I pretty much have Valentines Day mostly blocked from my brain. So I worked with what I had: cat hair. HUZZAH!

This was the intent ultimately with real cat whiskers. ***Side note: Legit cat people have a whisker collection. Maybe for art projects. Maybe magic wands. We don’t really know, but just in case….

But this might have been the end result. I think we have a merkin situation.

May your hoo-haw be covered in cat hair! Happy Valentines Day!

This kid needs a kitten

It happens every weekend. Somehow all the other cats camp out for mid morning to early afternoon naps, but The Wigglebothum is still awake and she wants to play. She won’t pounce on any of the sleepers, but she’ll squeak and wiggle, and head bump my legs for attention. I fantasize about a kitten who would occupy her sometimes. I want to play, but I also want to get things done. There’s nothing like the parental guilt of sitting at the computer trying to pay bills while your kid desperately wipes her wet nose on your shins looking for love.


Fortunately, I found a game to entertain both of us. Valentines Day was cold, but very sunny which meant two boldly colored sunspots in the living room.


With The Wigglebothum ready to play, I tried to get some action shots.



We have lift off!


It is ridiculously hard to flip a cat toy in an alluring way while also trying to work a camera. Bubble break. Those are catnip bubbles by the way.


While my pathetic string tosses weren’t always coordinated enough for flying leaps, there were some fierce, but lazy prone attacks. Murder mittens indeed.



Love this one!

So much sass in this girl.



Happy Birthday from the Eye of Sauron

MomBert makes some weird shit sometimes. I don’t know many people who got their own Eye of Sauron complete with a hobbit eating spider as a birthday present. My Mordor loves me. (See what I did there!)img_2029

The best part is that the eye plus the attached message were completely unintentional as far as literary references.  MomBert reads the daily newspaper and magazines, but is not big on novels. So while she has a general knowledge of Tolkien and hobbits, I’m not sure that the image of that burning eye sweeping the land to zero in on the ring is part of her repertoire.


Maybe she deserves more credit. What I do know is that my gift receiving poker face sucks, and that I must have had my “what the fuck is this weirdness” expression on when I opened her creation. Just when I had gotten used to Sauron creeping on me, these two little faces arrived in the mail as replacements. I think the raccoon is too cute and needs its own set up all together.


But then she sent me gremlins for Valentines Day.


Share the Love Treats

Having a Valentine means sharing…february2017

…even if you are STARVING, even though you just ate dinner.

Having a Valentine means letting her have the last bite


…even if it kills your hungry, hungry soul. Miles is sooooooo hungry.


Valentines also means homemade cards from MomBert who was test driving her new watercolor pencils. Where does one cat end and the next begin? I’m going to get them to re-enact this!


May Your Heart Be Covered in Cat Hair

It’s that day when we are supposed to succumb to the idea of the perfect occasion, the perfect romance, the perfect love…and buy a card. The media inundates us with endless commercials on the dinners, diamonds, chocolates, treats, and flowers  that need to be purchased to demonstrate said perfect love, and almost every television series seems to feature a holiday themed episode where it all romantically works out in the end. (I know because last night I watched  four different episodes of four different DVR’ed shows from this week and they were all sticky sweet goo meant to remind me that my life in no way resembles a sitcom plotline.)

That’s all good I suppose if you’ve got the romance thing going. Some relationships do seem to be if not perfect at least affectionate and wonderful on the surface or maybe they’re just in a good upswing. However the reality is or my view of reality is ( however you want to take that) that human love is mercurial. We say one thing, we actually want a different thing. Our moods and outlooks change, and our tolerance and adaptability for those changes  can be strained. Forget romantic love. Even friendships, which usually seem to have more longevity, tend to shift and change over time. I could even call in to question that whole “unconditional love” that is supposed to happen just because you’re related to someone.

No guarantees when dealing with people, people! (This is why I’m not hired to write commercials and television episodes.)

My best wish to you is “May your heart be covered in cat hair.”

Or the hair of whatever pet you favor. I go cat every time.

Me at the computer + trying to work= Luv for Miles

Me at the computer + trying to work= Luv for Miles

For unconditional love without questions, happiness brought on by your existence with or without gifts, cuddles without judgement of how much weight you’ve gained, and moods heightened by purrs, wiggles, barks, and ear scratches go for your pet. The only game they want to play are fetch. Have a romantic meal over the Feast that is Fancy, switch online dating services to online pet finding services, and buy a squeak toy or the really good catnip.

Olivia will give you her paw and her heart.

Olivia will give you her paw and her heart.

If Sookie could be an anime character with her soulful eyes, she would. Blink Blink

If Sookie could be an anime character with her soulful eyes, she would. Blink Blink

The Bird and her heart are works of art.

The Bird and her heart are works of art.

Give a Little Love

Couples sauna time.

Couples sauna time.

So Valentine’s Day is officially over in a few minutes. Those of you with significant others may have frivolously spent your day gazing into eyes, stroking hair behind someone’s ear, getting couples massages, having happy endings etc… But where has that gotten you? Your wallets are lighter, you have rug burn, and possibly a pulled groin.

Time to share your love in another way.

Because I’m old and wise now, I asked my friends to make donations to Cat Welfare and Colony Cats & Dogs  in lieu of gifts for my 40th birthday. One, my best, old, girl Bella Luna had just died and I now had youngster Olivia Wigglebothum in my life. Two, I have enough random shit in my house and did not really want 40 of anything unless it was dollars. My people came through and donated roughly $400 plus various kitty supplies. I crafted some quick fleece blankies and divvied up the goods between both shelters.

Baskets of kitty love!

Baskets of kitty love!

Procrastination rules my world, so I conveniently did not get everything organized until today: Valentine’s Day! Even though that amount of money is a tiny drop in the thousands of dollars  in vet bills, food, and cleaning supplies that the shelters spend each month, I made some people smile today. With the help of my friends, I made some people smile today.

Maybe you need a big booty calico.

Maybe you need a big booty calico.

I also got to spend time petting and cuddling some kitties who still need fur-ever homes, like Bridget at Cat Welfare, a tortie who loves to be held and has gigantic extra Hemingway toes. Or the black and white kitty who came over to chat at Colony Cats then made it clear that what he or she really wanted, was up on my shoulder. So give a little love and find a Valentine that is covered in fur, won’t judge your life choices…much, and is allergic to chocolate hearts.


The Valentine King

The Valentine King

In other versions of giving love, Gpa was voted Valentine King with an unheard of 21 votes.