New Year’s Resolutions: Couple Goals

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I don’t think I’ve ever been as blissed out by anyone’s kisses as Sookie is by Miles. No human dating apps on the horizon for 2020. It’s much easier to just watchmy cats’ soap opera than it is to deal with actual humans. The cats do not disappoint and theirs has been a long running relationship.

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I guess I’ll never understand why their romance typically takes place in the smallest bed we own.

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This looks adorable, but that is her “I’ve had enough” face.

Resolutions: Olivia Wigglebothum

I don’t have any friends until February 1. My group of goal-oriented, generally thin and healthy because they eat well and exercise regularly friends are going on a 30 day cleanse. This will adversely impact their drinking habits. They are typically four or more drinks deep to my one and done.

So for 30 days they will be alcohol, sugar, caffeine, and who knows what else deprived leading to hunger induced bitchiness and probably some green tea and vegetable  induced fartiness. They invited me to tag along, but I am already well stocked in bitchiness as well as fartiness, and life has shown me that I’m not particularly goal-oriented especially when it interferes with me eating.

Olivia agrees that this is all well and good as long as  we still have eggs on the weekends.

Eggs, eggs, eggs! We resolve to eat eggs!january20191

We also resolve to support the arts and the shelter. The Amazing Cat Show is happening again January 11 at 400 West Rich. There will any amount of ridiculous things happening at the show. If you’re in central Ohio, stop by.

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Resolutions: Birdie

Today was the first winter hike if mud, standing water, and 48 degrees means winter. Last year during this hike, it was so cold my phone shut off. The warm weather brought EVERYONE out. It was kind of a shoulder to shoulder hike in the woods.

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Today was also National Bird Day. Avian awareness, y’all! I told the Evil Bird that it was National Bird Day. And she was like “Of course it is!”

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No, no, I saw feathered birds. Some chickadees, nuthatches, tufted titmouse, downy woodpeckers, and red bellied woodpeckers. Birdie is actually named Birdie because of her woodpecker-like chirps.

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To quote Bill the Cat, “THHHBBBPPPPTTTT!”

Anyway… she resolves to continue to give everyone shit, and to continue her love affair with my comforter.

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A Means to an End

Olivia Wigglebothum has two obsessions: mousie and houseplants.

She is the reason my giant aloe plant lives outside during the summer and then in my classroom during the school year. After two days of vomiting following the aloe plant episode, I eliminated all toxic houseplants and now check the ASPCA plant list before even considering a new houseplant.

Olivia clings to me and cries piteously any time I scoop her up near the back doors where the plants hang. I wish I could say that this is out of a deep love for her mum’s cuddles, but I have enough claw marks in my shoulders to know better.

I’m just a handy ladder to her end goal. Olivia Wigglebothum life goals: sample all the houseplants. 

New Year’s Resolutions: Berries! Adventures!

*Eat more berries!

*Have more adventures!

The berry eating falls under the traditional “eating better” resolution. Blueberries are my steel cut oatmeal life. However getting those berries may sometimes call for adventure.

While visiting the wild suburbs after Christmas, my hostess started screaming that there was a possum in the tree out front. It was only lunch time. A daylight possum seemed weird!

It was there chowing down on berries and studiously ignoring us, even when five “responsible” adults, an infant, and five children piled out on the porch to get within about three feet of the tree.

As a group, we unanimously backed away when the possum finally made solid eye contact.

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Do not disturb my berry time!

A neighbor witnessing our idiocy, yelled over that the possum really liked that tree and had been there before. I’ve since read that while mostly nocturnal, it’s not unusual to see a possum during daylight hours especially in cold weather and when food is scarce.

(I also learned that “possum” actually refers to Australian marsupials, but is used as a North American colloquialism. We actually have “opossums.“)

Science aside, we decided that the possum was on a walk of shame back to her den, but stopped to eat her feelings. The look on her face that we backed away from was just self-loathing and fucked up mascara.

It turns out that we did not put a damper on her sense of adventure or need for berries because she was back the next day. I love that this possum looks like an extra from The Dark Crystal, and that you can see her tiny, creepy, little finger/toes in this picture.

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Who’s got a pretty pink nose?! Opossum kisses!