It’s a Matter of Routine

I think I’ve commented before that four-legged kids like routine as much as two-legged ones. My kids live for their breakfast and dinner routines although their morning internal food clocks have been off by an hour or so lately.

Part of Olivia Wigglebothum’s daily routine is the mousie hunt behind the storage bench. Full disclosure, this video is from June 2015 about 6 months after Olivia moved in; however, we’ve been doing this daily sometimes multiple times daily, sometimes multiple times with a 10 minute span since she got here. I assure you that she does not give two cat poops about the lamp cord; it’s all about the mousie that may or may not be there.

Mousie often contributes to my morning getting ready to go to school routine as well. I like to have eyes on and pet all heads before leaving. Olivia is typically in the hallway underfoot waiting for back scritches or demanding that I throw mousie at least once, making me feel neglectful for going to work.img_1715

Birdie has returned to bed by the time I’m brushing my teeth and putting on jewelry. She’s usually listening to the money report (my signal that it’s 6:50 a.m.) and snuggling back into the comforter.

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Sookie is always exactly RIGHT HERE, waiting for the horror that is me petting her at least once a day. I’m pretty sure she works out once I leave which is more than I can say for myself.

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Everybody’s spots make some sort of sense except for Miles. My most loving, attention seeking panther man “hides” himself by the time I am ready to leave every morning! He favors two spots, but lately under the laundry drying rack among shirts and bras in the spare bedroom has been trending. If the rack is not available then he plants himself under my computer table towards the middle.

Both spots require effort to get to him especially the table where I may barely be able to do more than touch him with a fingertip. Maybe he’s protesting my leaving, maybe he’s reading my efforts as devotion to him. Only Cat knows.

january20196

Bow Down: Bad Cat Poems

Eyes rolled heavenward.

“Tremble, human, at greatness.

Fetch me nip mousies.”

#cathaikus

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(This is just to say that we apologize to William Carlos Willams…again.)

This is just to say

That some time in the night

When you were sleeping

Or

Half asleep in mid slumber,

Just on the precipice of wakefulness and actual rest,

I threw up.

This is just to say that from your bed

Nestled in tired pillows, you may have heard me

Or

Thought that your dreams had new sound effects,

But somehow you did not fully wake up.

In the morning as you stumble through the new darkness of a blown ceiling bulb,

That first step will be

So

Cold,

Wet,

and Regretful

A Means to an End

Olivia Wigglebothum has two obsessions: mousie and houseplants.

She is the reason my giant aloe plant lives outside during the summer and then in my classroom during the school year. After two days of vomiting following the aloe plant episode, I eliminated all toxic houseplants and now check the ASPCA plant list before even considering a new houseplant.

Olivia clings to me and cries piteously any time I scoop her up near the back doors where the plants hang. I wish I could say that this is out of a deep love for her mum’s cuddles, but I have enough claw marks in my shoulders to know better.

I’m just a handy ladder to her end goal. Olivia Wigglebothum life goals: sample all the houseplants. 

Couch Mouse

Your face when Mum finds mousies under the couch!

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They made her antennae twitch.

The progression of discovery. The Wigglebothum could hardly believe it.

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“Is real?”

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Is real.

My cats normally speak clear and correct English, but I just re-read Allie Brosh’s book Hyperbole and a Half (it will make you pee-laugh) and Olivia reminded me of The Simple Dog plus I recently had a “sneaky hate spiral.” It happens. All better now because ….mousie