Does this web make my butt look big?

Does this web make my spider’s butt look big?

Seriously! I have posed this question on Instagram (@Kstewand4cats) and on my personal Facebook page and nobody wants to comment. The most I got was a “maybeeee??” from MomBert.

I realize that this question when asked between humans is usually a trap, but this time it’s motivated out of mild curiosity…maybe concern. I don’t know. Bernadette is her own spider and she can take care of shit! (Yea, so a former student named her. It seemed to work.)

It really seems like she hasn’t eaten well for a couple of days and, trust me, I check that web MULTIPLE times a day for my own safety because she’s right out the living room window. There have been no obvious catches for a few days. I had that same thought process you have when you suspect a frenemy has lost weight: “Hmmmm, bitch looks smaller. Hate her.”

Finally, Bernadette scored today. Two big carpenter bees! She was using one for a juice box when the other one hit the web and she was frantically on it! Girl was hungry. I was sad for the loss of pollinators, but also acknowledged that these guys are real dicks when it comes to my wooden fence. I helped out by tossing in a stink bug because they are murdering sons of bitches, but she thinks they’re tasty.

So is she smaller and is that a result of less prey or is there a giant egg sac somewhere waiting to take over the world? I’m hoping a spider expert just wanders in to this because there is only so much spider research I can do before it feels like my skin is going to turn inside out from creepy crawlies.


I realize an 8 day time span is not significant when considering booty sizes, but these were the most comparable photo options.

Bernadette in late July wrapping a Japanese beetle.

16 thoughts on “Does this web make my butt look big?

  1. Ok so I watched that vid of her gift wrapping her next meal AND HOLY CRAP!! How big is she?

    If something that size was living anywhere near me… I would no longer be living there LOL

    And hopefully it’s not a spider sac because those are like the ultimate clown car of spiders. When I was 13, we had one break open in the kitchen. There were thousands of baby spiders EVERYWHERE for weeks and then LARGE SPIDERS everywhere for MONTHS.

    Nothing like sitting at your kitchen table, attempting to eat breakfast, lunch or dinner, and watching several little spiders just shimmy down their web-strings and hover above your food… every single day for months!!! We cleaned and vacuumed and yet they still persisted.

    So yeah, keep your window shut 😛

    Liked by 1 person

  2. 2-3 inches?!? HOLY CRAP!! That’s not a spider!! That’s a Japanese Monster Movie LOL We need Gamera to take care of her…although she does eat other bugs but still.


    Liked by 1 person

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