I have to burn the garden to the ground…again.

I just wish they came with a warning sign.

Every time I encounter a huge spider in my garden it’s by pure, unobservant accident. I was happily squishing Japanese beetles off my grape vines, which they seem to like even better than the roses this year, when I looked down and saw that I was only inches away from a 2-3 inch monster. (I got out a ruler, but her web anchors are all over the place and there was no way to get close-ish without destroying them and angering her.)

What I’ve learned is the my fight or flight instinct seems pretty delayed. This spider made my ass cheeks clinch up and my entire body lock into place while I silent screamed at it. Then I fled.

To get my camera, of course, because it totally makes sense to take pictures of terrifying, mutant spiders.

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Totally snacking.

The silver spider lining is that there appeared to be some Japanese beetles wrapped up in her web. If she’ll eat those, that would be amazing because no one else will touch them! I even went so far as tossing a few live ones in her web and hoping to see a strike. She did not bite, and the beetles did not stick very well. She needs a denser weave to really nab their shiny shells, but here’s hoping.

Like the previous garden spider, I can monitor her from a window of the house. This time though, it’s only from about 5 feet from the living room window.

This picture makes me want to throw up on myself, but it does give a lovely illustration of her furry bits and pieces. I may not be eating from my grape vines this year.

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8 thoughts on “I have to burn the garden to the ground…again.

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