My cats’ lives in alternative facts 

Choosing one toy from the nip bin is not enough to get crazy high. 

Getting high on catnip leads to rational behavior. It does not lead to exposed cat nipples. 

Olivia nipples


I only feed three of the four cats. I force the black one to forage and dominate the other cats for food. This isn’t racist. He likes it. It is what it is. He has the same opportunity as the other cats. 


Miles is actually a dog. 

He sings in the litter box because he’s bragging about his poo size. (I don’t really know WHY he sings in the litter box so this could be a real fact not an alternative one. 

Mum’s favorite dog.


Side note: I look forward to failing the first kid who suggests using “alternative facts” during the research unit. Wikipedia full speed ahead!

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3 thoughts on “My cats’ lives in alternative facts 

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