Evil Bird

I only weigh 8 pounds, but….

It took two vet techs, a beach towel, a cone of shame, the feline specialist vet, and my mum to control me. 

They almost failed. 

I have the strength of twenty cats twice my size. 

I almost drew the vet’s blood before she drew mine. 

I tore Jorge the vet tech’s name tag off and broke it. 

I told the other vet tech to take her “distract the cat with a tapping pen” technique and go fuck herself. 

The feline specialist vet had to take a break from me. 

My mum is sorry she made the appointment because I wasn’t eating consistently and she was worried. 

I’ll eat whatever the fuck I want, but not the special “stew” the vet sent home. 

I screamed so loud and so frequently that I scared a dog in the waiting room. 

His people thought they should leave. 

They should have. 

I am incredibly bad ass. 


7 thoughts on “Evil Bird

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