Evil Bird

I only weigh 8 pounds, but….

It took two vet techs, a beach towel, a cone of shame, the feline specialist vet, and my mum to control me. 

They almost failed. 

I have the strength of twenty cats twice my size. 

I almost drew the vet’s blood before she drew mine. 

I tore Jorge the vet tech’s name tag off and broke it. 

I told the other vet tech to take her “distract the cat with a tapping pen” technique and go fuck herself. 

The feline specialist vet had to take a break from me. 

My mum is sorry she made the appointment because I wasn’t eating consistently and she was worried. 

I’ll eat whatever the fuck I want, but not the special “stew” the vet sent home. 

I screamed so loud and so frequently that I scared a dog in the waiting room. 

His people thought they should leave. 

They should have. 

I am incredibly bad ass. 

19 thoughts on “Evil Bird

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  4. This is by FAR the most EPIC of blog posts… it has it all… sassy writing, even sassier style, phrasing, suspense, canine insults, succinct sassiness and THE PERFECT PHOTO Accompaniment lol… all wrapped up into one BadAssCat. Natch.

    Need a t-shirt: “Support Staff for the BadAssCat” and have that photo

    Liked by 1 person

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