How’s it goin’?

-Morning mystery cat vomit: 1

Clean carpet zero: 0

We’ll never tell.


-I brought a pair of underwear to work today in my hoodie. 

Were they clean?

Nope. 

-Forced to take id photo in a fluorescent t-shirt  that matches roughly 50% of the other humans and does nothing for my chin layers. Hair: unbrushed. There were no mirrors which was probably for the best. 

-Could not fully enjoy obligatory staff bonding with impending doom of unpreparedness looming over my head. Only sort of enjoyed getting in a bathtub with 9 other people. 

-Subsequently, repeatedly reminded myself and all others around me that I am a heinous, whiny bitch when trapped/stressed/generally in disagreement with the world. (I’m always “going to be better about this” but usually fail hard and predictably. I think the hardest part of the fail is when I consciously TRY to be good, and dial back the sarcasm and negativity, but another person specifically calls me out to make a shitty comment.)

-How is the Microsoft screen my Hotmail login? Why do updates keep raping every computer I need to use? Brain doesn’t understand!

-Brain cannot conceive of creating a document, re-saving as PDF, uploading to point A, moving to point B. What should be online? What should I make copies of? We’re going one to one so there is a push for much less paper and the neon sign in my brain keeps blinking “Clusterfuck ahead. Slower traffic use left lane.” Idk. I’m usually slower traffic. 

-Was fairly certain it was edging on midnight based on how my eyes felt. 
More like edging on 4 p.m. 

-Neglected to make a plan for one of my classes. WTF? See the “thought it was midnight” and “looming unpreparedness” points. 

-Need to find clean Spanx and a “real” bra.  Probably not items stored in my hoodie. 

-One of the cats has no special food. I don’t remember how to pack lunches. 

The students arrive tomorrow. 

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