I get thyroid ultrasounds about every 6 months because my thyroid thinks it’s an asshole. Basically it’s a 20-30 minute process, laying down in a dark room while some random nurse lubes up my neck with ridiculously hot gel, and takes pictures of my insides.
I may have dozed off.
I may have kicked something.
When I’m in that hazy half asleep point, I’m a kicker. It drives the cats fucking nuts.
When they finally finished with weird-sleepy-kicking-girl (that’s me!), one nurse got towel duty. She got the awesome job of wiping off what felt like a bucket of now body temperature slimy gel off my neck. When I was finally allowed to sit up, she handed me another towel, saying, “Just in case you feel any more.”
I did feel more.
Wiping my neck, I replied, “You all are a sloppy date. I think you got some in my hair.”
Tight smiles. Nervous titters.
You’re welcome, ladies.