You Can’t Re-Gift Crazy

Anyone can get and receive socks.

I know.

I personally gifted 10 pairs and received about a dozen pairs. As a person of a certain age, I was happy to get every single pair. Socks! Especially thick hiking boot socks!

It takes a real trooper to think outside the sock box and in to the “now this is what now?”

1. A potting bench! My mom comes up with projects and directs her engineer boyfriend to make them happen. He built her a potting bench based on some photos and drawings, and I wanted one too.

So she concocted  a story about coming to town looking for guns- yes, guns– and stopping by the house. What time would I be home from work? Suspicious. Like hardcore, tool-toting elves, they rushed to my house and assembled all the parts on my back patio. I pulled in to the garage as the boyfriend was torching the edges of the boards.


It’s beautiful, barn boards and an old door! Plus it replaces the failed compost bin. Hopefully I won’t be attacked by bees because of the bench.

2. Bath Bomb! Ok, this is fucked up. I enjoy taking baths, especially in the winter when I can’t get warm enough. I’ll add a little bubble or body wash to the water, nothing elaborate. I basically just want to get warm, read, and/or play Words With Friends.

With this knowledge, my sister got me a collection of homemade bath salts, bubbles, and THE BOMB. I have heard the words “bath bomb” before, but have never experienced it.

Quite frankly, I’m over it. Done. When the thing in your tub looks like your favorite Nazi face melting scene, the relaxation part is over!

So it began:

I held back the screaming until the green part started.

Then I texted my sister the videos.


She did not have bomb handling experience either.

But, yea, I sat in it.

I don't want to talk about it.

I don’t want to talk about it.

3. The Great White Squirrel! My soul searching squirrel army will be complete when I find the white one. I know it’s out there. I encountered one once, but passed it by for some reason. So for schitzengiggles, I put the white one on my list.

My mom was also unsuccessful at acquiring the The Great White Squirrel so she went with the next best thing, a painting and funding for the mission.


Soon you will join your brothers!

Squirrel with cash!

Squirrel with cash!

4. Owen Armadillknit! My dear friend has the patience and skill to knit. She also has the necessary sense of whimsy to try out some weird shit. At Thanksgiving she graced the table with a blind knit turkey. She has now advanced her skills to making eyes.

We are both English teachers and big readers with a great love of John Irving books especially A Prayer for Owen Meany. I recently texted her about the name of the armadillo in A Prayer for Owen Meany.  I was second guessing whether or not I had properly named Ross the Holiday Armadillo, because my students had been  going on about a wretched movie Simon Birch which is LOOSELY based on a A Prayer for Owen Meany, and I was like, “Hey, why don’t you read this awesome book instead!” The point was that it was way too late to be texting a fellow teacher, my texts sounded drunk, and I couldn’t remember the armadillo’s name. She couldn’t remember it either. We’re pretty sure that the armadillo never had a name, and we’re pretty much experts.

Meanwhile, this was probably in the works.

Ross the Holiday Armadillo and Owen Armadillknit

Ross the Holiday Armadillo and Owen Armadillknit

I wouldn’t re-gift any of these items…except maybe THE BOMB….., but To be honest you can re-gift crazy. Happens all the time. Kind of the my trash could be your treasure concept.

With that in mind, maybe think about how that household item you’ve never used or gift card you have no idea what to do with could be re-purposed. Maybe a shelter could use it in a raffle fundraiser, treat volunteers, or buy supplies.  Shelters often have things on their Wish Lists besides food and cleaning products. For example, one of my favorite shelters wants an air purifier. Makes sense in a room with 100 cats.

This guy wants treats, an air purifier, a new bed, hand sanitizer, paper towels, clumping litter, and a fur-ever home. HOOK HIM UP ALREADY!


15 thoughts on “You Can’t Re-Gift Crazy

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