Oh, No She Didn’t 

Oh, yes, I did. 

There is now a broom involved. 

Phat Basterd is the only one who seems inclined to run away when he/she sees me coming. Cheeky Basterd and BBHog hold their ground one out of defiance and one out of fear. 

Yesterday morning, Cheeky rolled through. 

Cheeky Basterd

I went outside and reasonably stated that Cheeky needed to exit the garden. Cheeky remained behind the hostas, playing the “you can’t see me” game. I lobbed a small handful of mulch his way and Cheeky made a big show of stomping around behind the hosta and SNORTING at me. This made me second guess my decision to walk out barefoot. 

Reverse course. 


Notice that my butterfly bush is dying suddenly. I blame the hogs.

I pulled on my red rubber boots and grabbed a broom. Cheeky had repositioned behind a tomato plant for maximum coverage and greeted me with glares and more snorts. 

I swatted his hoggy ‘tocks lightly with the broom which ….caused him to shoot straight up two feet in the air and do a half twist  that I assume he learned in groundhog gymnastics. Finally this got him moving. 

Unfortunately, Cheeky did not communicate the mythical dangers of The Broom to BBHog. Later in the morning BB showed up. 



    They really are terrible at hiding. 

I repeated the same broom to booty technique, herding BBHog out. The scary part was that I could see and hear Cheeky snorting through the other side of the fence slats as I sent BB on its way. 

I really must start wearing shoes lest I get my toes nibbled off. 

You’re just a mean, awful lady!

Like some ridiculous fairytale housekeeper, I spent my morning sweeping groundhogs out of my garden. 

3 thoughts on “Oh, No She Didn’t 

  1. Pingback: All Groundhog, All the Time | possumscatsthingsgnawingatme

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