Bacon For Dessert

Universally, in between all the awesome food that moms make for us, there are some real experimental moments that we may not have fully appreciated as kids. 

For example, my mom claims we made her sign a contract promising never to make meatloaf again. She brings it up the two times of year that we make hamburgers because she thinks that her meatloaf compares in some way to my sister’s zesty hamburger patties. I realize that meatloaf is not cutting edge “experimental,” but it makes me gag. Sorry, Mom.

However The Mommy makes sure I get gingerbread for my birthday (cause I’m too good for regular cake) and that every childhood birthday cake was a handcrafted “shape cake.” Bunnies, rainbows, a giraffe that bit the dust en route from kitchen to dining room.
The cakes are better than my fashion choices.

The cakes are better than my fashion choices.

My sister continues with the mom-tradition, creating epic birthday creations at 2 a.m. for my nephew’s birthdays. (I made a carrot penis cake once, but it was not for a child’s birthday party.)

Birthday down on the farm.

Birthday down on the farm.

I requested a model, but no one would help.

I requested a model, but no one would help.

She also persists in using her captive audience as a taste-test kitchen. For Mother’s Day, we were treated to bacon dessert pizza.

Frightening or delicious?

My sister is running her second Warrior Dash- because she works out and shit– with a group of friends. Last year, their after Dash competition was using Cheetos to create a main dish. This year the competition is bacon for dessert. So she put together a dessert pizza, wanting our feedback.

She says this is her "Susie Homemaker" look.

She says this is her “Susie Homemaker” look.

One half was the traditional fruit on cream cheese and confectionery sugar blend just in case the bacon half was too horrible;e for words. The other half was chopped Granny Smith apples, crumbled bacon, and caramel with chocolate drizzled over the whole thing. The results were pleasing.

Feedback:

Lose the chocolate. A bite of it overpowered all other flavors.

Don’t use the pre-cooked bacon. Not much bacon flavor there.

Cook the bacon super crispy and mix some into the  cream cheese and confectionery sugar blend in advance so it can sit overnight and absorb the bacony goodness.

The caramel and apples were a solid choice,

Let's be real. Bacon goes with everything.

Let’s be real. Bacon goes with everything.

She’s got this.

Happy Mother's Day

Happy Mother’s Day

 

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4 thoughts on “Bacon For Dessert

  1. The hairy balls…. the veins… all too realistic!
    If I must indulge in Penis Cake, I think I’d go for a chocolate one.
    (There would be more of it, for one.)

    Like

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