This is Just to Say, Bitches

Hmmmmm, The Bloggess has a great William Carlos Williams parody going. The comments are hilarious in an English teacher sort of way.

This is just to say

that at the party

last night when

you

were progressively getting

drunker

and turned to

me

asking about

the husband/boyfriend that I don’t have,

 

I could have

killed you

with anything in my purse or

the fried mushrooms on the table

like a psychotic McGyver.

 

You were spared because

you are my friend’s boyfriend,

and

there were witnesses.

 

Instead I said,

“I have 4 cats.

They are nature’s birth control and

man repellant.”

 

This is just to say that

when you said

I was hilarious

and

I replied,

“Humor gets ugly men laid,

but

it’s not doing shit for me.”

That was not to say that

you are ugly,

but

that for your safety,

this conversation was done.

Shut up, while you're ahead and not just a head!

Shut up, while you’re ahead and not just a head!

 

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5 thoughts on “This is Just to Say, Bitches

    • I feel that might have a limited audience but go for it. Donations from its sale can go to my fave shelters. Also that statement is usually followed by the person making sad oh I can’t believe you said that face.

      Like

  1. Pingback: This really isn’t about parking garages. | possumscatsthingsgnawingatme

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