What Teachers Do At Lunch

As a self-involved teen, I don’t remember ever wondering what my teachers did at lunch. I’m not even sure where they ate. Maybe they just survived off of sarcasm and body fat like I do. Even if I never saw her eat, I know that my favorite English teacher went to the bathroom because she was a stall to stall talker. Uncomfortable. I am thankful daily that my classroom is right beside the staff restroom.

My students seem as unimpressed with the concept that teachers eat as I was at their age. They are also unfazed by a closed door and a room full of only teachers eating lunches. They don’t have the good sense to act awkward when they open the door, walk in because they’re done with lunch so we must be as well, and all conversation stops cold as we direct teacher stink eye at them.

I call lunch “grown up” time because by that point in the day I need that less-than-20-minutes to inhale my food and interact with adults. Important things happen at lunch.

For example, we might view the latest episode of Key & Peele where Phil from Modern Family makes another appearance as a Nazi. A Nazi with an “awesome Hitler story” that uses the words “insubordinate and churlish” at the end.  We loved it when they were the only words that the substitute teacher ( “A- A- ron”) could pronounce properly. “Insubordinate and churlish” is like the English teacher motto. Words are fun! We need t-shirts!

Today the force of our nerdliness kept the student invaders at bay. The boys (two questionably adult male teachers) and I were on our own. With the return of The Walking Dead this weekend, our  conversation turned to zombies. Collectively, we have watched all four seasons of the show, read the comics, and read the Governor based trilogy. I may have carried a bit more of the weight in these efforts.

I speculated that it would be interesting to have some sort of map of Rick and friends’ travels. Given road blocks, the lack of supplies, and the necessity of foot travel, I don’t feel like they could have traveled very far in four seasons. In fact, I have this mental image of everyone involved trapped inside a very small plot of land around Atlanta.

The Google and the larger nerd population was way ahead of that thought process. Within seconds, we had one blogger’s theories on the geographic structure of the show AND we could project it because we’re that cool.

When we’re not bitching about kids or the latest trend that the powers that be want us to bend over and try, this is what happens when teachers eat lunch.

***Two Things About the Zombie Apocalypse

1.) I never open my garage door until I’m in my car with the doors locked because you never know when there might be a zombie horde or neighbors that you have to back over in order to get to work in the morning.

2.) Every time I have to use a motion sensitive sink or toilet, I wonder where that little red eye is going to get us when the zombies bring the power grid down. I bet Rick is glad that he only seems to come across regular faucets.


6 thoughts on “What Teachers Do At Lunch

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