When I got my first tattoo, my mother was suitably horrified as any parent would be when her child voluntarily maims and scars his/her body for no definable reason. However, despite her flustered anger and repulsion, she uttered the best one-liner ever. “Only two types of people get tattoos: sailors and whores!……. AND YOU DON’T OWN A BOAT!” Thanks, Mom. I now have three tattoos, pretty much confirming my seafaring incompetence. No new tats as of this post, I just wanted an excuse to post a picture of Birdie wearing a tiny sailor’s kerchief.