To quote either Mr. Show or comedian Kathy Griffin or any number of dirty, filthy ,sailor-mouthed individuals: “I don’t come down to your job and slap the dick out of your mouth.”
Dear Unnamed Parental Individual,
Today you called me sad and disappointing. You accused me of presenting a negative message to today’s delicate youth by not immediately agreeing to give you what you wanted. Clearly I have nothing else to do in my day but cater to your whims.
And it is a whim. We both know that.
Your child is about to graduate and after he/she does, you won’t care what I do with my time, my classroom or my publication. In fact, I’m willing to bet that if you weren’t trying to advertise your child’s “accomplishments,” this would be a non-issue.
I’ve had your child in class and he/she wouldn’t act this way. He/she would probably be embarrassed to know what was said to a teacher by a parent presumably for the student’s benefit. Your child that I worked with, taught, joked with, and guided for one school year would have understood “No” the first time with or without an explanation.
I particularly liked when you showed me who was in charge by including my principal on one of your riveting emails. Just so you know, you got his email address wrong. Oopsy!
Don’t worry though, I was generous enough to correct that in my reply to you. I know you would want him to share in all the awesome things you had to say. Like me, he has nothing else to do during his day but hang on your every passive aggressive angsty email about your desire for me to validate your child’s existence.
And really, what you have to say wouldn’t make much of a difference if you weren’t attacking and attempting to control something I love. Something I love, and something that you have no understanding of the how’s and why’s of making it work.
You accused me of promoting a negative message by ignoring your request. Here is a true example of a negative message. And by all means, I intend this in the politest, most professional manner with a “the customer is always right” smile on my face.
Go…OMG…look shiny! Wow, other things I care about more than high school. Uh-oh Sad face. 😦
(I was going to end this with “Go fuck yourself” but I pulled it back at the last second because I’m like super mature and stuff. Totally grown up)
Other Unnamed Parental Individuals have joined the fight against my tyranny. I am being boycotted by at least one, possibly two of them. TRANSLATION: I am so fucking awesome that they cannot stand it!